POETRY
POETRY
8"26
dare to defy
the invisible confines.
vision is selective,
where you choose and what you refuse to see
is only a reflection of your own beliefs.
if you say you’re a queen,
what other than jewels should you expect
to make a comfortable rest atop your nest?
will you grow into the shoe or wait for it to fit?
perfection never comes
the sun always runs
and if you don’t water your mind
the crown will never grip.
insomnia
while most are under the hypnosis of the night sky,
the memory of you is no match,
as i await the gong of the sun to signal me to sleep
that’ll never save me so long as you hold the bell.
when my mind has nowhere and everywhere to go,
you are it’s favorite,
destination you are,
the pause in my sentences you,
hijacked the train where my thoughts were the passengers you,
keep time, you are
on the frontlines,
stopping all other cargo so only you make it through still,
i am, to the naked eye, yet,
tilted on an axis is my mind,
rotating at 1,037 miles per hour,
and rent-free you live vicariously
through fantasy
A plea for more of You
Establish me
Like a date engraved on a building standing firm in the ground
Claim me
Like a lost dog searching for your presence to find peace in your embrace
Label me
So when I’m seen they see that I belong to your family, a server of your trinity
Rebirth me
So that I may be bathed in your spirit and only consume things of it
Fill me
With oozing love, may you overpour so your light shines through every pore of my body
Equip me
To fight and stand in your name and defend it in apologetics unapologetically
Show me
How to be like you, but remind me of my flesh, that though I am likely to fall, you will help me up
Show me my intricacies
And make your deliberate design apparent
That I may appreciate myself as your creation
Love
Love coats the heart with a tight enclosure
So when it's beating in love,
every beat and boom bounces in the space
and it's so intense
It gives your body base and you vibrate
Sometimes you can’t think or see straight,
but who cares? Nothing matters when you’re in love
It's the drug that dopes you up so high,
that dying on it’s hill would be painless
The heart has no room to breathe
when it falls into this love glove
So when it falls to break because,
someone tripped and pulled the love plug,
the shattered pieces sit heavy
in one tight space and it hurts
You can’t get enough blood, you’re numb
It feels like your entire being is stuck
and nothing works
The heart bleeds out and paints the glove black
What once was a transparent case for the heart to be seen,
in the way your face would radiate because of the heart’s glowing glory,
turns to a bullet casing with broken heart bits acting like the powder
You feel stupid for giving love your power
But only owning love will give your power back
Owning love pops the tainted glove,
and allows the growth of new tissue for the heart to use
when you’re ready to fall in love again
He loves me with a confidence
of sight unseen
A sixth sense so keen
he’d follow it from any coordinate
to find me
From only sensing my spirit,
I see him whispering from his center softly,
I’m gonna marry that girl
His eyes, he wishes he could lend me
As no words are strong enough to help me see myself from his point of view
He says, for his love I don’t have to do a thing
And maintaining my beauty doesn’t even require me to breathe
I could summon the rhythm of my heart to feel his presence
long before he stood before me
So when my eyes could finally see
what my heart could always feel,
there was no mistaking that this was real
You taught me how to run
Problems are only as temporary as your stay per city
Small as the number of boxes you can fit in a truck,
you chuck your reminders and you haul your remnants
Paint a new coat on a new place with a new lease on life,
each location is a chapter to which we’re forever unwedded
You taught me how to run so I don’t get too attached
In stability I’m the unstable to create a sense of normalcy
Chains stay loose for an impromptu flee,
my effervescent well wishes are typically everlasting
You can't weep for those you barely knew,
absences go as unnoticed as a hair lost from shedding
You taught me how to run so I taught myself not to love
These decisions may one day be regretted
To only love those at a distance that you’re scared to lose,
to leave first so it feels like it was yours to choose,
to save your tears for only those you absolutely need,
but this mechanism of defense can’t be applied to everybody
So what happens when those you need are taken permanently?
You taught me how to run so now I fly, as far away as money can buy
I stack savings to save me from self-proclaimed enemies
Hyperfocus on the negativity and ignore the positive around me,
to make my choice of flight over fight feel more appealing
You taught me how to run so I constantly count down to last days
Sometimes I wish you taught me how to know when to stay
You don’t see me
I think I finally understand
The soul-deep stares that scare me in passing
It’s a look of seeing the spirit that lives in the body
and an analysis of how that spirit has manifested
Though unknown, it's a validation of its divine destiny
and a certainty that their mission isn't ordinary
A look I look away from because
seeing my light in someone else’s eyes
makes me feel more naked than when nude
I know you don’t see me because
I feel fully clothed around you
You aren't blind
but to you I'm invisible
Poem 3
I asked for discernment.
God built the dam.
Only the right stream will
make it through
I shouldn't have asked when
you'll breakthrough.
Now all I do is question
You won’t let anyone walk into your life
Like it’s a mess you’re
Too embarrassed to show a guest
But what if they came prepared to stay?
Unfiltered
My skin is clear but my mind isn't.
I've come far in days
But with so many hours wasted,
You make me compete with highlight reels so my progress feels insignificant.
So when others see me as whole...
all I see is a glass,
transparent.
Half full but I feel half empty.
My oppressor wont let me cultivate the joy within me,
The gifts I live with that are to be repurposed and keep on giving,
have a lid glued shut and on top of it I’m sitting.
Time after time I repeat the same cycle.
I drive over the same stones that deflate my tires every time I go down this road–
How it feels to live with you,
Fasten yourself to my hip like a conjoined twin
so when they see me, you, or us they won’t know the difference.
When I meet aid half-way
You fasten ankle weights.
Then the door becomes too far,
Too heavy is my tongue,
Too dark is my mind to think your damage can be undone.
But you unchain me here and there to keep up my required contribution.
If I die then so do you.
But you’ve been with me so long I feel like an imposter without you…
Everytime I escape I end up running back to your lap,
And as the ventriloquist with your hand up my back
You let me function just enough
So no one would suspect what you put me through.